What if the Muni Metro lines were drag queens?
They’re loud. They’re moody. They disappear without warning. They are... Muni Metro!
Here they are: the divas of Muni! Each bringing their own charisma, uniqueness, nerve, and transit.
🚎 E-Embarcadero — Miss Seasonal Sashay
Look: Retro glam in seafoam green with a windblown scarf and perfectly timed ferry arrival.
Talent: Vogueing in slow motion.
Tagline: “Limited service, unlimited elegance.”
🪩 Only performs on weekends and long weekends.
🌈 F-Market & Wharves — Madame Transfer Fantasia
Look: A technicolor dream coat made of vintage streetcar upholstery.
Talent: Storytelling through delay announcements.
Tagline: “I may be late, but I’m never out of style.”
🪩 Has at least one number about the history of Milan’s transit system.
🧘 J-Church — Mistress Mindful
Look: Soft neutrals, ethically sourced tulle, a eucalyptus crown.
Talent: Interpretive dance about housing justice.
Tagline: “No downtown? No drama.”
🪩 Her merch is herbal tea and a zine.
🧙♂️ K-Ingleside — Professor Kink
Look: Slightly disheveled academic robe with a surprise harness underneath.
Talent: Spoken word… merged with someone else’s set.
Tagline: “I put the kink in K. You’ll get it later.”
🪩 Always sharing the lane. No one knows who’s driving.
💁♀️ L-Taraval — Lashes Taraval
Look: Safety-vest couture with traffic cone stilettos.
Talent: Ripping off a tearaway to reveal… another construction phase.
Tagline: “I was gone, now I’m on.”
🪩 Her comeback tour is partially funded by the SFMTA.
🎓 M-Ocean View — Miz Overbooked
Look: SFSU hoodie turned into a gown, five bags under each arm.
Talent: Speed wig changes while dodging strollers.
Tagline: “I’m late, I’m packed, I’m still here.”
🪩 Somehow lip-syncs while taking roll.
📸 N-Judah — Nikki Judah, BART’s Ex
Look: Power blazer, metallic boots, clipboard earrings.
Talent: Scheduling conflicts.
Tagline: “I’m everyone’s favorite — ask me why I’m tired.”
🪩 Has 12 numbers, all beach-themed, none of them on time.
🦇 S-Shuttle — Silent Service
Look: Black catsuit, utility belt, backstage pass.
Talent: Shows up in your set and improves it.
Tagline: “No credit. All impact.”
🪩 Only performs when you need her most.
⚡ T-Third — T-Rexx 3000
Look: Futuristic silver, LED lashes, platform Crocs.
Talent: Hoverboarding through a fog machine.
Tagline: “I’m the future of transit, baby — just don’t ask me for directions.”
🪩 May be in the wrong tunnel. Will not apologize.
Category is: ✨ Public Transit Realness ✨
Which queen are you taking to the runway — and which one just short-turned at Embarcadero?
